Let me tell you about a conversation I had the other day. The circumstances were after a romantic meal, thoughtful card and maybe a tad too much of mushy-feeling inspired champagne.
Me:”What are you thinking?” (eyelids a flutter)
My love: “Nothing.” (staring blankly)
That is something that I just cannot comprehend. The nothing.
For the first many years we were together, I actually doubted that one could be thinking of nothing, and would argue with him (fully charged) that he was keeping something from me. Now I accept it as fact.
My manufacturing process has just left me without an off switch. There is just no silencing my mind.
Don’t get me wrong, I know I can practice at installing an off switch. I’ve caught glimpses of “nothing”. But it is hard work. Taking up much mental energy and practice. Too much energy and practice? Sometimes I wonder. The thoughts that run wild, sending what-ifs through my mental world; causing earthquakes and death, car accidents and worst-case scenarios. Then something snaps me into reality. Like my pot of oatmeal boiling over on the stove.
Big difference between earthquakes and oatmeal.
Could it be that the difference is that big mentally? The ability to just hold oatmeal in my mind, instead of an earthquake. When I look at all my what-ifs throughout the day, it adds stress ALL the time. Little amounts. I know I am only thinking (‘prepping’ in my mind) about what-ifs. I also know that stress is one of the leading causes of disease. And what about my dis-ease with feeling like I have to be “on” all the time, prepping for disaster. Those little amounts add up to a lot.
What if, instead I could just switch off. And when I look for stress, nothing is there instead?
What if, I could silence the stress?
So for the next month I am going to try. Every day. Even if all I can do is 10 minutes. I will switch off, and meditate. Clear my mind of all thoughts. They will come back, I know (the loud voices, the rushing thoughts). But then I’ll send them on their way again and just focus on nothing. I invite you to join in. Just join in on nothing! Shouldn’t be too hard, and the benefits should give you peace of mind. Literally.
And then there will be nothing (or at least a little less stress and a little more silence).
*This was posted in response to the Weekly Writing Challenge: The Sound of Silence. I find it ironic how deafening the silence of nothing sometimes is…