I’ve been looking at wills lately. Creating a will and last testament. Not that I don’t already have one (do you?)
Living in yet another country it would make things easier to have a will done here than try to have our old will go through probate and be subject to different laws. Wills are a funny thing. They bring up so much emotion, and thoughts. The very act of calling it a will seems odd to me. I can’t will anything if I am dead. Can I really even will something if I am alive?
Think about that for a second. I WILL you to think about it! Did it work? Likely not. Similarly to me willing to win the lotto, or that my child won’t have a tantrum. So what’s left?
For me the fear. Just talking about a will brings up all sorts of emotion:
What will happen if my husband dies? What will I do?
My husband dies. The house goes into probate. Extended family lays claim to it (or neighbours…) long court battle. Fighting ensues. We are isolated from both family and the neighbours. Being non-residents we are subject to huge taxes. I am forced to sell the house. Oh, and the car (it’s likely not in my name either.) I have no where to live. I am destitute. Poor. Alone. Except for the kids. Now I am homeless with kids. Maybe I’m the one with the cardboard sign at the stoplight throwing myself a pity party hoping for change. And then the alcohol, because of course I can’t cope. And the drugs. (Would there be drugs?? I’m not sure…makes for a better story though.) Then foster care for the destitute children. And abuse. And then my untimely death in an alley somewhere.
Big story. Highly unlikely. Mostly fear based. Okay all fear based. And totally ridiculous.
So I’ll focus on the fact that in the unlikely event of his death (or both our deaths) a will may make things easier on the people left behind tying up our affairs in order. Just another piece of paper. And allow the story in my head to disappear in the same time it took to appear.
After watching my grandfather die, and all the intricacies of the estate being dissolved I can see why having a to-do list via a lawyer (aka a will) is a really good thing. And on the advice of my lawyer we even added a clause for kids when we did our will. We laughed at it at the time…but now that they exist it was a good thing. Part of keeping our family safe and healthy.
I’d will you to go out and get one too. To make your life easier. But now I realise I can’t. So I won’t. Or will I? (C’mon laugh with me…) And seriously, think about the will thing.